Change

My first b/f is back, and the story still reads the same - "I've changed. I've realized you're a great person, and I want to pursue a relationship with you." Has anything changed? Of course! But will it affect us? Doubtful.

They say a person only changes when they really want to change. And even then, it can take a miracle to solidify those changes. In my experience, it takes baby steps - like realizing how much you're worth so you can leave the worthless relationships you have, behind. Maybe it takes a certain amount of times that someone chooses their pride over your friendship together to make you quit an addiction. Or maybe it takes watching someone not face what's right in front of them over and over to make you see what you want. But whatever the case, knowing what you want is half the battle of changing for better or good.

And every day, I get closer to the core of what I truly want. What I'm starting to realize is that life isn't about how things are packaged or how it's varnished, but more about the quality of the material and the craftsmanship with which it was made. It's like a violin that is beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, everything is broken and disfunctional. Appearances mean very little when everything on the inside is broken.

I know that I'm broken, but I also know that I can be fixed. And I also know that most of the men in my life are broken, do I wait for them to fix themselves, or do I replace them with more functional units?